Saturday, 20 December 2008

Our lovely spider friend...

Alexander, my 10 yr old, was given a book on spiders at cubs recently, and both of us have found it quite interesting. It was comforting to know that most spiders around the place are not too nasty and at the most may give you a nasty painful bite or a bit of nausea.

Two days ago I noticed a really lovely looking spider stretched out among the roses on my front fence. I called to Alex who came to have a look and after close inspection announced the spider was a St Andrew's cross spider...never hearing of one of those I was a bit sceptical until he ran and got the spider book and sure enough there it was!

So we've discovered our new spider pal is a female and makes a gorgeous St Andrew's cross in her web. I have decided to name her after me Andrea is the feminine (unless you're in Italy) of Andrew.

This morning, after a huge downpour, I was a bit worried that Andrea may have been washed away but my 4 yr old ran to the fence shouting "Andwea is not gone!"

Hooray for Andrea!

here's a photo (sorry to all you arachnophobes!)

letting go

I had a strange dream this afternoon...I had nodded off on the couch while the kids were outside with their Dad and before I knew it lack of sleep had taken me off to dreamland..
One minute I was fine, happy, drifting off and the next I woke up suddenly and started to cry....It was one of those dreams thats almost as real and clear as if it was happening to you in waking hours. I was a child and my Dad had dropped me off at a friends house to idea whose house it was, I didnt recognise it when I thought back over the dream..anyway! In my haste to run off and play I hadnt realised Dad had said goodbye at the door and left to go home, at this point in the dream I could see my Dad's face smiling as he quietly closed the front screen door of this friends house and got in the car to go home.
Next thing he was back at the door to collect me and I was running to him, crying and leaping into his arms, hugging him with all my might...I said "Dad, Im so sorry I didnt say goodbye to you"
Then I woke up.
It wasnt until I went over the dream a couple of times that I realised what the significance of the last line was. I didnt get to say goodbye to him when he died and now 12 years later it can still cause a physical pain in my heart as losing him did 12 years ago.
My shrink ( yes I have one) thinks I have a disjointed feeling at times because I didnt get to grow into being a full adult with my parents still around, he thinks it explains why now at 39 I still get stuck in my own little world of childhood and adolescence...especially when the real world feels too hard to cope with.
Anyway, Ive cried quite a lot today and Ive also laughed with my children...the past and the here and now. Ive really got to try and live more in the latter.

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Confessions of a Christmas tragic

I love Christmas! I love the songs, the decorations, the kitschness, the fake snow everywhere when outside it's 40 degrees...I cant stop buying Christmas cd's! Every year I buy a few more and they all end up in my car, so at the moment there is a constant stream of Christmas songs coming from the Cd player!
I love the memories it brings...I love driving my children all over Melbourne in the balmy Summer nights, trying to find houses with more and more lights! tacky yes, fun, yes! last year my kids spent most of their time at a house with a Winter Wonderland theme and every minute or so a big blower thingy would blow fake snow all around them! They loved it!
I love talking to the neighbours as we all wander up and down the street looking at each others lights, and the children run from house to house!
Its funny how I feel almost guilty for enjoying this time of year, should I be more grown up, cynical, Im well aware of all the downsides to being a Christmas tragic, Im a dream to merchandisers, Im willing to part with money for something cute and sparkly! puh...I dont care! It makes me happy, it makes me feel like a kid.......:) Hooray for Christmas!

Friday, 14 November 2008

Today would have been my dear Dad's 76th birthday! Its such an emotional day for me, and it seems to get a bit harder the longer he's been gone. He was my best friend in the world for many years! I remember my Mum telling me that the nurses commented when I was born that they'd never seen such a proud Father when meeting his daughter for the first time. I remember waiting every day by the window counting the minutes till he came home. He had a booming laugh that made me feel good, he smelt of musk lifesavers that he kept in his work jacket pocket, he had big soft hands and beautifully shaped nails, but terribly flat feet and a big nose :) all of it I loved!

I used to worry that something would happen to him from very early on...the thought that Id have to be in this world without him one day would make me cry at night in bed. I loved him more than anything, I still do. But Im still here, even though he has gone, and Ive somehow still wanted to live, even though I'll forver have a Dad shaped hole in my heart.
I miss you Dad, I thankyou for everything and every moment and all your love! Happy Birthday wherever you may be

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Sleep then my princess

I had a memory come to me recently, one I hadnt thought about for many years. I was singing to my 3 year old and suddenly rememberd a song my Mum used to sing to me when I couldnt sleep. She would stroke my forehead and sing these words

Sleep then, my Princess, oh, sleep!
Slowly the gray shadows creep;
Forest and meadow are still;
Peace falls on valley and hill;
Luna appears in the sky,
Holding her lantern on high;
Stars now their night watches keep,
Sleep then, my Princess, oh sleep!
Sleep then, my Princess, oh, sleep!
Calm flow the waters so deep;
Soon shall thy weary lids close;
Sink to a gentle repose;
Mother shall leave her Princess;
Heaven thy slumber shall bless;
Angels their watch o'er thee keep,
Sleep then, my Princess, oh sleep!

Now I couldnt remember every word at the time, but the trusty internet soon found them courtesy of my search of "sleep now my princess" I then discovered it was a well known Mozart piece called The cradle song or Wiegenlied.
I love the words above, and they used to conjure up magical visions in my head as I tried to sleep.
So I went looking for the song and was really happy to find a gorgeous version by Hayley Westernra, who in my opinion, has the most pure beautiful voice! She does a brilliant version of "Wuthering Heights" the number 1 song in my Top 100 list of best ever songs :)
ahhh Mum, thanks for giving me a lovely memory!

Did your Mother sing to you at bedtime? or any other time?

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Did I really make these creatures?

My boys, my darling hearts, my chatting lots when Mum needs peace, angels, My "lets tell Mum at the last minute that I needed a cowboy hat/library book/picture of an occupation for school" babies.

What would I do without your chattering, laughing, screaming, singing selves. I cant imagine what my life would be without you both.

My 10 yr old teetering between childhood and teens, wanting to be cool and accepted but still wanting to watch "Matilda" at any time of the day. My boy with legs that are growing longer and longer by the day, with shoelaces untied and breakfast on your face, you leave me every morning with part of my heart, wishing you happiness and experience and mindfulness of this time of your life.

My 3 yr old, my baby, my sunny boy with the temper of a devil! My kooky one who has spontaneous outbursts of laughter at the strangest of times, my cuddly boy, a little voice calling to me during the day "hug and kiss, Mum?" Yes, of course, anytime, anyplace! hugs and kisses are what I crave, little arms around my neck.

I love you, love you, love you!

Thursday, 16 October 2008

Slowing down to Nature

After reading my dear cousin's blog "Discombobula" I decided to do what she suggested and go outside. Ive been trying to make myself leave the house everyday, even when I dont want to or feel like crappola. Just concentrating on a flower or a tree, as simple as that sounds, has been really beneficial for me lately.

First I decided I needed a new non fiction book, so off I went to a nearby op shop, bought a book, and went to the local park with my lunch and said book. Im really liking the idea of going straight to the charity shop when I need new books. Ive seen so many almost new, best selling books on offer, and old well loved treasures that Id probably pay a fortune for at retail book shop. After reading so many blogs lately, many on being thrifty, I really want to try and recycle and reuse! I cant believe some of the amazing things people find, Im becoming addicted to thrift shop blogs! (as you'll see my blog roll is increasing rapidly!)
I try to limit myself to one or two new books, otherwise Im going to end up losing my husband and children behind teetering piles of ex op-shop stock.

Anyway I opened the $1 book, it sounded interesting, "Slow Up, 199 to calm your mind, body, and inspire your spirit" and was pretty much struck by one of the first quotes given in the book. It was by Anne Frank, who is an inspiration anyway. Because of her circumstances I find this quote even more amazing.

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere they can be quiet, alone, with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes people happy, amidst the simple beauty of Nature.

I'm going to go out again today, I think I'll take my little boy to a new park, somewhere with a pond or lake, I feel like watching water...

Friday, 10 October 2008

Cam, Lizzie and me

It was a beautiful day today, one of those days that make you feel content and happy, even if you havent done all the housework you wanted to, or your hair is having a bad day. (both apply by the way)

Cam and I took some books and a drink each and sat on the back decking. I felt like my body needed to soak in the sun, get a fix of vitamin D (it is D isnt it? )
I had been to a couple of op shops and had some books to read, and Cam had his big army jeep, and was chasing Lizzie. Lizzie looked resplendent in the midday sun, her chocolate brown fur catching every beam of light, she looked like she was wearing a very rich velvet coat.
I ended up buying 4 books and a pink spotty bag today...these were all cheap at my local second hand shop. I love spots! so I just had to have this bag. I think it's a nice bag to celebrate Spring. One of the books I bought was an old "BBC Children's Hour Annual" I love the illustrations and stories, all very British, which I also love.

I also added to my Wind in the Willows collection, I now have the grand sum of 4 different editions and 10 in my Wuthering Heights collction. It makes me smile to think of how much I used to roll my eyes at my parents, who collected many things between them, and now Im doing the same thing, cluttering up the house with books and old bits of whatever. Ahh well, its good for the soul.

Lizzie quite liked sniffing all the old smells on the books too, I wonder what she makes of it all.

Saturday, 4 October 2008

King Grisly Beard

Today I took the three kids, AB & C to look around some old junk shops and a nearby second hand book shop. This particular book shop has so many books stacked to the celing, you take your life in your hands just walking in the door!

Still, the kids eyes widened as they scooted down a very narrow aisle heading for the children's books! I told them that they could each pick one book under $10, and so they spent the next 20 mins deciding on and then discarding many many books before I told them "pick one now or you dont get any!"

I found a gorgeous vintage children's book called "King Grisly Beard" published by Renwick of Otley. It has no date but Im guessing it's from the 1940/50s. It includes gorgeous pictures by Arthur Mansbridge and another story called The Fairy Horseshoes. I must scan some of the pics and put them on here. I am obsessed with vintage children's books and toys at the moment!

Alex ended up with a 2000 Guiness Book of Records to add to his collection, and Belinda picked a Mr Men activity book full of puzzles. Cam chose a Madeleine book, it's lovely!

After we got home it started to rain which was perfect reading weather so Cam and I curled up on the back couch and read about Madeleine and the dog Genevieve who rescued her from the waters of the Seine. Cam was quite taken with the 12 girls Madeleine lives with.

We then read old King Grisly beard and looked at the pictures of another story in the book called Country life.

I really feel sorry for people who dont enjoy books!

Domestic Harmony

I feel very content with things at the moment, very content with my family, my house, being home. Sometimes these very things make me feel restless. But lately I find a deep rooted peace, a sense of being a boat anchored to something solid even though things in my life and my head sometimes push and pull me about, like the boat above the water.

"I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby." ~Nancie J. Carmody

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Goodness - To Sue

This quote made me think of you dear cuz.

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends, and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind. Think big anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed over night. Build your dreams anyway. People really need help but may attack if you help them. Help anyway. Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you got anyway.
-Bishop Abel Muzorewa, Zimbabwe Prime Minister (1925)

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Ordinary World Duran Duran

This song has been going around and around in my head, it makes me sad, but also hopeful.

Ordinary World

Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue

thought I heard you talking softly

I turned on the lights the TV and the radio but still

I can't escape the ghostof you

What is happening to me crazy some would say

Where is the life that I recognize, gone away

And I won't cry for yesterday

there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say

pride will tear us both apart

Well now pride's gone out the window cross the rooftops runaway

Left me in the vaccuum of my heart

What is happening to me crazy some will say

where is my friend when I need you most gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday

there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and grief

Fear today forgot tomorrow beside the news of holy war and holy need

Our's is just a little sorrowed talk, just blown away

And I won't cry for yesterday

there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Every world is my world (I will learn to survive)

Any world is my world (I will learn to survive)

Any world is my world, every world is our world, every world

Sunday, 31 August 2008

Moments of Pleasure

Its been one of those days when I keep thinking of Mum and Dad, especially Dad....and I still miss him as much as if he left yesterday. Where are you? I love you

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

“When I drink tea it’s very pleasant to be aware I am drinking cloud.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Monday, 28 July 2008

Adrian says it again

Im in a strange place betwixt Jesus and Buddha. Spending a whole day with the beautiful Geshe Doga yesterday was a blessing, but I also found myself thinking of Jesus at different times. I actually felt he would be agreeing with many many things the Buddha taught, love, compassion, patience with each other instead of anger.
There was also fun in the Gompa...Geshe Doga has a gorgeous sense of humour, It remninded me of why Christians and Church frustrate me sometimes...humour seems to be somehow disprespectful.
Reminded me of this post by someone else who makes me laugh Adrian Plass.


When I say I'm a writer people look fairly interested. Then they say, "Oh, what sort of thing do you write?" And I miserably mutter, "Well, it's sort of religious humour," and their eyes glaze and they say, "Oh, how interesting." But like the girls I talked to in kitchens at parties when I was seventeen and a half, they just want to escape. I don't blame them. Some Christians seem to specialise in presenting God as humourless and out of touch with reality.
Even among those few dear souls who do actually part with money in exchange for my wretched outpourings there are sundry brethren who find humour inappropriate. They accuse me of flippancy, would you believe? That's why it was lovely to get a letter from a lady called Margaret telling the following story.

Margaret's husband David, who has M.S., got very edgy and bad-tempered during a course of steroids. One despairing Sunday Margaret had a good weep in the garden shed, then wondered back into the house and happened to pick up a copy of New Daylight, a daily bible-note periodical I write bits for. In this edition I'd bemoaned Jesus' strange oversight in omitting "Blessed are the irritable for they shall be given claret" from the beatitudes. Remembering that claret is her husband's favouite tipple (hallelujah - we are one with you, brother David) Margaret hurried to the mini-supermarket and queued for the only remaining bottle of claret on the shelf. When she gave it to David and explained why she'd bought it they had a good laugh together, and, as Margaret herself put it, "All the tension was released" And that was before they drank the claret. Wonderful!

Don't kid yourself. The Jesus who made his comeback by cooking breakfast for his friends instead of organizing a sky-filling Spielburg spectacular is still in touch with the real world

Adrian Plass

Monday, 14 July 2008


Meditation is bringing the mind back home, and this is first achieved through the practice of mindfulness.

Once an old woman came to Buddha and asked him how to meditate. He told her to remain aware of every movement of her hands as she drew water from the well, knowing that if she did, she would soon find herself in that state of alert and spacious calm that is meditation.

Sogyal Rinpoche

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Falling Awake

Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is.
In the very here and now, the practitioner dwells in stability and freedom.
We must be diligent today.
To wait until tomorrow is too late.
Death comes unexpectedly.
How can we bargain with it?
The sage calls a person who knows how to dwell in mindfulness night and day,
'one who knows the better way to live alone.'
Bhaddekaratta Sutta

Saturday, 24 May 2008

Adrian Plass

I love Adrian Plass. I love his humour, and I love how he sees God.
I hear he's coming out to Australia at the end of the year!

Off The Boil

By Adrian Plass

I've been reading the book of Job lately. Poor old Job. There were only really three phases in Job's life. Pre-boil, boil and post-boil. At one point he looks back nostalgically to the good old pre-boil days, and remembers addressing the people. He says, "When I smiled at them they could scarcely believe it." One of the things that struck me as I talked to people after a series of meetings one weekend was that lots of them seemed to think that - far from smiling at them - God is somehow out to get them.
We used to know a lad whose mum was ferociously house-proud. She made the family get deckchairs out and sit on them in the living-room so they wouldn't crease the three piece suite. The sort of person who runs around the garden in the autumn trying to catch the leaves before they mess the lawn up. She was a fanatic. Steve liked our house - probably because we - well - tended towards the other end of the spectrum.

One day we bought four very old chairs - all our stuff was third or fourth hand in those days. Local people used to come in and say, "Oh, there's my wardrobe!" or “You’ve got my table!”

Anyway, these four chairs were only about five pence each, and old Steve sat on one. It collapsed beyond repair, and I can still see that lad lying among the wreckage, waiting for Armageddon. In his house you got half-killed for sitting on a chair. He'd destroyed one. We watched his face move from pallid terror through amazement as he realised that we were falling about laughing, to profound relief. He could scarcely believe we were smiling at him. Please - if you're lying amid the wreckage of your life (note the smooth transition to a serious point) sorry to mess about - it is a serious point - don't assume that God's going to put the boot in. You may be amazed to discover that he's smiling at you.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Gimme Shelter

This song seems so appropriate at the moment, earthquakes, cyclones, ongoing wars around the world, desperation..and its all only a moment away at anytime. Lord, Gimme Shelter!


Oh, a storm is threatning
My very life today
If I dont get some shelter
Oh yeah, Im gonna fade away

War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away

Ooh, see the fire is sweepin
Our very street today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost its way

War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away

Rape, murder!
Its just a shot away
Its just a shot away

Rape, murder!
Its just a shot away
Its just a shot away

Rape, murder!
Its just a shot away
Its just a shot away

The floods is threatning
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or Im gonna fade away

War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
Its just a shot away
I tell you love, sister, its just a kiss away
Its just a kiss away
Its just a kiss away
Its just a kiss away
Its just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away

Tuesday, 6 May 2008


I took my three children (well one is not technically my child, but she could almost be!) for a drive to the Dandenongs on Sunday, and it was glorious. We drove down dirt roads and country lanes and the kids were really excited about the beautiful bright reds and yellows of the Autumn trees. We even stopped at the side of the road to look closely at a Japanese Maple that was a beautiful scorching red! One of the kids said "I just want to get out of the car and run free" and I felt the was one of those spur of the moment days that just feel so right! We mooed at cows while running along slippery planks of wood that covered a little stream. We said "soooo cool" at the house made out of two trams stuck together, and marvelled at the huge tudor style mansion near Sassafras.
We ended the day by having a twlight play in the Emerald train park before snacking on a yummy roast potato with all the trimmings at a nearby cafe.
As I used to write in my diary when I was 12, I give today an A+!

Sunday, 27 April 2008

The Refiner of Silver

I was talking to a friend about my crisis of faith at the moment. Mentioning the problems I have with God letting us suffer and wanting us to come to him, meanwhile being able to stop the pain, but not doing so.
She mentioned this story and it really helped me to see things differently. I like to think of myself as silver being refined, and that one day God will see his reflection in me.

Malachi 3:3 says:
"He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:
"He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered,

"Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

The temple of Dave

Saturday night I went to worship the coolest dude in rock! Dave Grohl. He and the other Foo Fighters put on a brilliant show, lots of grinding, crunching guitars, loud drums, Dave's screams and pounding choruses!
Rock on Dave! I'd have your babies :)

Saturday, 26 April 2008

of Dragons

I dont know what's going on in the subconsious of mine, but it's really screwed up judging by my dreams :)
Last night I dreamt that I worked in a caryard/garden centre and had noticed a guy drive up in a sandman panelvan, he was quite cute so I sprinted out of the door of the glass fronted office building to serve him. Seems he was after a new pet, one that ate meat. So I, in my infinite wisdom, recommended a Komodo Dragon! Just as soon as I mentioned it, it appeared! scrambling along grey concrete stones looking fierce.

Sunday, 13 April 2008

The Futureheads

Id heard a song from The Futureheads a little while ago and really loved it..then upon further investigation realised that they cite new wave postpunk bands and Kate Bush as one of their influences! They have a new cd out soon and I may just buy me a copy! They definitely have an 80's feel about them, I can hear and XTCish/The Jam sound too

I'm pretty fussy about Kate Bush covers, but I love this one!!!! probably as much as Kate's original version.

apparently it's become a bit of a cult favourite at music fesitvals! I can imagine everyone shouting oh oh oh!

Saturday, 5 April 2008

Lyric of the Week

gorgeous song, written by Mikc d'Abo who was the frontman with Manfred Mann. My Favourite versions are Rod Stewart and Stereophonics. They both have that raspy character to their voices and it adds to the song.
I think it also got noticed when they used it in the credits for "The Office" (the original British one, not the crap US one)

mmmm Kelly

Handbags and Gladrags

Ever seen a blind man cross the road?
trying to make the other side
Ever seen a young girl growing old?
trying to make herself a bride

So what becomes of you my love
When they have finally stripped you off
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Once I was a young man
And all I thought I had to do was smile
well You are still a young girl
And you've bourne everything in style

So once you think you're in you're out
'Cause you don't mean a single thing without
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Sing a song of six-pence for your sake
And drink a bottle full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds in a cake
And bake 'em all in a pie

They told me you missed school today
So what I suggest you just throw them all away
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy

so you missed school today
So what I suggest you just throw them all away
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Tuesday, 25 March 2008


There is a little house near me with a sign outside saying "House of Books". Ive driven past many times and until now have never stopped to investigate further. I dont know why not, sheesh! a house full of books is more or less heaven on earth!
Well last week I took myself off for a child free date at the bookshop, and it was bliss! I met a sweet man sitting at a table in what would have been a front loungeroom when the house was sans books. He had a lovely smile that reminded me of my Dad, so I immediately felt fond of him! He was sitting next to a stack of books on theology and Catholic saints. He explained that the shop was run by the nearby Catholic diocese and most books were around $1 to $2 dollars! Bliss again! I ended up sitting in the religious section for an hour just thumbing through books on every type of religious dogma you could imagine. I ended up coming away with 4 books for me and 10 for my children ;) I just couldnt help myself!
One of the books I am now reading is a book called "Joshua, A parable for today" by Jospeh Girzone. Now I have to say when I began to read this book I almost put it back down again, the first few pages are really quite awkward and I winced at some of the dialogue, but I continued on. He is not the best writer I have ever come across, but I decided to keep going, after all, this is a classic book written in 1983 and still popular! There must be something in it?!
Well Im now three quarters of the way through the book and I will probably take myself back off to the "House of Books" first thing tomorrow to get the second in the "Joshua" series. There is something so simple and yet remarkable about this's basically a book about a man called Joshua (Jesus) coming to live in a small American town and changing everyone around him. There are, as with any book claiming to represent what Christ would think or do, some things I may or may not agree with, but on the whole it's an insightful look at how man has got it wrong! Jesus is love and freedom, and Joshua has that in spades! I cant put it down now!

Monday, 24 March 2008


I love this blog: ;)

Lyric of the week

Hounds Of Winter - Sting

Mercury falling
I rise from my bed
Collect my thoughts together
I have to hold my head
It seems that shes gone
And somehow I am pinned by
The hounds of winter
Howling in the wind

I walk through the day
My coat around my ears
I look for my companion
I have to dry my tears
It seems that shes gone
Leaving me too soon
Im as dark as december
Im as cold as the man in the moon

I still see her face
As beautiful as day
Its easy to remember
Remember my love that way
All I hear is that lonesome sound
The hounds of winter
They follow me down

I cant make up the fire
The way that she could
I spend all my days
In the search for dry wood
Board all the windows and close the front door
I cant believe she wont be here anymore

I still see her face
As beautiful as day
Its easy to remember
Remember my love that way
All I hear is that lonesome sound
The hounds of winter
They follow me down

A season for joy
A season for sorrow
Where shes gone
I will surely, surely follow
She brightened my day
She warmed the coldest night
The hounds of winter
They got me in their sights

I still see her face
As beautiful as day
Its easy to remember
Remember my love that way
All I hear is that lonesome, lonesome sound
The hounds of winter
They harry me down

Schools out for Easter

Well it's the end of the first term of school for 2008, and Alex has finished his roughest school term yet! Have I done the right thing? Have I chosen a path for him that will mess up his entire future?
In the four years he was at a private Christian school he was sent to the sickbay once or twice, once was a wasp sting and a couple of other times were playground related. In the first term of a public state school he has been sent to the sickbay 5 times, all related to playground incidents, only one of which was his own fault. He now has a broken finger as a result of a football being kicked at him, he also had a lovely red mottled chest for a few days after another boy threw a rock at him.
Am I being too precious with my first born? Does this sort of thing make a man out of a boy? It worries me, it makes me want to whisk him back to his previous "safe" private school.
*sigh* He is also had the worst term academically, but I did expect this to happen with a change of school and all the stress it causes. I guess we shall batten down the hatches and walk into the next school term with a positive attitude (I think!)

I remember this quote and it is so apt
Having a child is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Song Lyric of the week!

Fisherman's Blues - The Waterboys
(Mike Scott, Steve Wickham)

I wish I was a fisherman
tumblin' on the seas
far away from dry land
and it's bitter memories
castin' out my sweet line
with abandonment and love
no ceiling bearin' down on me
save the starry sky above
with light in my head
with you in my arms...
i wish i was the brakeman
on a hurtlin fevered train
crashin head long into the heartland
like a cannon in the rain
with the feelin of the sleepers
and the burnin of the coal
countin the towns flashin by
and a night that's full of soul
with light in my head
with you in my arms...

And I know I will be loosened
from the bonds that hold me fast
and the chains all around me
will fall away at last
and on that grand and fateful day
I will take thee in my hand
I will ride on a train
I will be the fisherman
With light in my head
You in my arms...

Light in my head
You in my arms...

Light in my head

With light in my head
You in my arms...

My little piece of whatever

I'd like to start a tradition!
Posting song lyrics that I deem to be interesting/strange/beautiful/meaningful once a week. I just love song lyrics and I'd like to celebate them here on this little piece of blog real estate.
One thing I do like about this blogging thing! I can do what I want on it! I can post pictures of interesting things that might be of no interest to anyone else, but so what! I can do it :) Maybe I'll celebrate unique glockenspiels next month ;)

Friday, 7 March 2008

Archibald Prize

Del Kathryn Barton
You are what is most beautiful about me, a self portrait with Kell and Arella

I wouldnt normally notice who won the Archibald Prize, but this paticular painting caught my eye. I now realise why, it's just how I feel. I love the way she has painted her children.

From Del Kathryn Barton about the painting.

“This painting celebrates the love I have for my two children and how my relationship with them has radically informed and indeed transformed my understanding of who I am,” she says.

“The title of the work – you are what is most beautiful about me – alludes to that utterly profound ‘in-loveness’ that all mothers have for their children. Both my children have taken my world by storm and very little compares to the devotion I feel for them both. The intensity of this emotion is not something that I could have prepared myself for. The alchemy of life offered forth from my inhabitable woman's body is perhaps the greatest gift of my life.”

I also really like one of the finalists

Zai Kuang
The sisters - Celia and Julia

Wednesday, 27 February 2008


There is a beautiful woman at church called Jacqui. She always seems so surrounded by the beauty and warmth of God's love and she makes you want to hang out and capture some of that peace.
She saw me one Sunday and with a beaming smile said " Now sit down my gorgeous sister in Christ and tell me when we can get together!?" It's funny how that line might make me feel squirmish if said by someone else..but with her it just sounds so sincere and welcoming and wonderful. It reminds me of why I DO love other people in God's family, people who are not perfect, not even pretending to be, but do try and live a life thats not consumed by this world and all it's trappings.

Church is a wonderful thing when it works, I feel that I can stomach the not so good parts if I can just have some of those moments when Christ is there, where two of us are gathered together. We are all imperfect silly homans, no more so than at Church..when we're all trying to pretend how perfect we are, but another friend has made me really see that throwing the baby out with the bathwater is not always the answer. If I can have those glimpses of real stuff, real connection, real understanding and real Christ...I want to be there.

Monday, 11 February 2008

To Me

I wrote this about 6 years ago after watching old movies of my childhood.

Little Andrea

Hello little Andrea, the girl I used to be
I watched you smiling down from the smokey wall
Filled with your own self importance and joy
You haven’t got a care in the world, and why should you.
You have love, overflowing, unconditional
You have future, bright, sunny, never-ending
Beaches, birthdays, comics, bread and soup on Sunday, Christmas lights, dad's never fading attention, mum's care and worry.

Its me big Andrea, the woman
Still have that little girl hope; still have that little girl joy
childhood feelings and love of life
But with a few tears mixed in, a touch more pain.
I wish I could be you again little girl, shining bright
I wish I could live it again, go back to the start, have the sunny days forever
I hate reality; I hate the voice in my head telling me that I can’t have it
I can’t go back. That’s its gone, its moved on…it passed by me one day when I didn’t even see it.
One day I was young, stocky legs in long white socks, pretty hair, precocious smile
Then it was now, and I wasn’t even ready to go yet, I hadn’t had enough of all the loveliness. And it was lovely!
I was there, and I can remember the not so lovely, but why? When the good was so good
Little Andrea, Please come back and live in the place you should be, I know you are there somewhere and I lost you somehow. We may be alone, but we can be that person.
I love you. I love me, most of the time, I smile when I see you, when something reminds me of you. I want to share these moments with you, and maybe you could help me get through.

Love Big Andrea

Friday, 8 February 2008

Meaningful randomness

Sometimes when uncertain of a voice from its very loudness, we catch the missing syllable in the echo. In God and Nature we have Voice and Echo
Henry Drummond

Buried At

For I know the thoughts that I think towards you , says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Buried At

Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering."
Saint Augustine

Buried At

"The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion, but, on the contrary, of its liberality and humanity. It is shorter to state the things forbidden than the things permitted: precisely because most things are permitted, and only a few things are forbidden.

The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man

G.K Chesterton

We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship

You find out more about God from the Moral Law than from the univerise in general just as you find out more about a man by listening to his conversation than by looking at a house he has built
C.S Lewis

It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion.
Mahatma Gandhi

We should view everything in this world by the light of redemption, and then we shall view it alright. It makes a wonderful change whether you view Providence from the standpoint of human merit or from the foot of the cross

Thursday, 10 January 2008

I said to the almond tree
"Speak to me of God"
The tree blossomed.

I saw this on a Wellspring brochure! I love it :)

New Music

I may be a child of the 80's as far as music goes, but I do still love the thrill of hearing new artists and songs! In a world where it sometimes seems as if nothing new can really be discovered musically there are still some artists who make me want to run out and buy their cd's Two girls who Ive just found on the BBC top artists of 2008 are impressive, they are both young, 19 & 23 but still I like to think I can relate to their music even in my advancing years ;) When is it too old to listen to new music? I like to think never, but I also dont want to be one of those Mothers who look like their trying to be cool and like their kids music! I sometimes wonder how my boys will rebel against me, musically, as I dont think I really dislike any forms of music, even if I dont understand or relate to it.

These two girls are new on the Brit scene and I just love their styles! One is moody and clever with lyrics, the other has a wonderful retro feel, and people have compared her to Dusty Springfield.

See what you think!

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

All is quiet on New Years Day

It's eerie outside, as if everyone has been spirited off the planet and someone forgot to tell me where they were going.
I went over the road to feed the neighbours animals while they're away and while walking over there I didnt see one car, one person, one sign of life. The neighbours cat greeted me with a very relieved meow, she wanted to be out of the hot stuffy house she'd been trapped in all night, but apart from that, nothing!
This was the first New Years Eve in my entire life I have spent choice mind you, but it was still a strange experience. At midnight I could here a few partygoers yelling out and fireworks erupting over the nearby sports oval. But I didnt care that I wasnt there, or wasnt anywhere really...I was quite happy to just be in silence, and welcome the New Year in. I really think Id like that to be my theme for the year..more silence, more alone time with God, give myself plenty of time to get a grip on the things I am struggling with.