I wrote this about 6 years ago after watching old movies of my childhood.
Hello little Andrea, the girl I used to be
I watched you smiling down from the smokey wall
Filled with your own self importance and joy
You haven’t got a care in the world, and why should you.
You have love, overflowing, unconditional
You have future, bright, sunny, never-ending
Beaches, birthdays, comics, bread and soup on Sunday, Christmas lights, dad's never fading attention, mum's care and worry.
Its me big Andrea, the woman
Still have that little girl hope; still have that little girl joy
childhood feelings and love of life
But with a few tears mixed in, a touch more pain.
I wish I could be you again little girl, shining bright
I wish I could live it again, go back to the start, have the sunny days forever
I hate reality; I hate the voice in my head telling me that I can’t have it
I can’t go back. That’s its gone, its moved on…it passed by me one day when I didn’t even see it.
One day I was young, stocky legs in long white socks, pretty hair, precocious smile
Then it was now, and I wasn’t even ready to go yet, I hadn’t had enough of all the loveliness. And it was lovely!
I was there, and I can remember the not so lovely, but why? When the good was so good
Little Andrea, Please come back and live in the place you should be, I know you are there somewhere and I lost you somehow. We may be alone, but we can be that person.
I love you. I love me, most of the time, I smile when I see you, when something reminds me of you. I want to share these moments with you, and maybe you could help me get through.
Love Big Andrea